Sorry about being out of commission. There was a miss-communication between me and my hosting service. First women, now the internet… anyway, I’ve decided to post a humor headline right now and start fresh tomorrow. Enjoy yourself!
Me after dealing with my host service. That crap on the left is my room.
Happy Cocks.
Birds in Russia no long have anything to caw about as news spread that all Domestic Birds would be receiving vaccinations against the avian influenza. This comes after long protests by Birds releasing defecation dissents on various politicians cars and bad batches of eggs in hopes to receive stable healthcare. The protests reached critical mass when Birds started releasing turmoil turds on the heads of State, literally. Olga Gavrilenko, head of the local department of Russia’s veterinary watchdog had this to say, “All the birds will be vaccinated for free.” As the decision was released, multiple joyful “cock-a-doodle doos” could be heard all throughout the outskirts of Moscow. Pictured below are Fallen Protesters:
All Actual Quotes from:Chickens Win HealthCare
One of them has a future (and not just in Germany)
Move over Middle Eastern man who drives me to the bar, a new kind of technology is emerging. As machines start to assist in our lives, you might begin to see them behind the wheel. With the release of the Lexus’s self-parking car, other car companies are creating more robotic functions within their cars. For example, the Mercedes Benz S-series has a function that stabilizes the car should the wheel be jerked in one direction. This would help in mowing down more pedestrians should you fall asleep turning the wheel off a bridge. But Robots behind the wheel are just the beginning. According to a group of men who live at home, Robots will be invading arriving in your home shortly. Roboticist David Calkins of San Francisco State University had this to say, “Home robots will happen a lot faster than you think.” Home robots you say? Home robot Prostitutes we ask?
All Actual Quotes recieved from:Robots hit the Scene
“Coach ain’t what it used to be.”
On an Indian train bound for Pakistan, two Bombs exploded killing sixty-five people. This occurred around midnight (their time) on February 19th. The two Bombs were accused (in blowing up the train) because of their highly irritable nature. Authorities are still looking for these two Bombs because they are suspected to be all over these trains. Three other Bombs were defused and put into custody. When questioned about the source of their origin, all three Bombs remained silent. This was condemned by Indian Prime Minister, Manmohan Singh, as an “act of terror”, to which the other Bombs replied with “duh”.
All pictures and actual quotes received from:NY Times
