April 25th, 2007
“Me kicking cancer’s ass. Two Thumbs Up!”
If you haven’t heard already, Roger Ebert the film critic, had cancer. After getting surgery to remove it from his salivary gland, his face was left drooping due to results. Despite how unsightly it may look, he will be watching the Overlooked Film Festival in the audience at University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. As he wrote:
I will be wearing a gauze bandage around my neck, and my mouth will be seen to droop. I was told photos of me in this condition would attract the gossip papers. So what?
It might attract more than just media attention. It would probably attract scrutiny and claims that he looks terrible. Granted he doesn’t look his best but he did have this to say:
We spend too much time hiding illness.
You can’t argue with that. Even after cancer removing surgery, Ebert still manages to turn the criticism appropriately around.
But I still have dendrophelia films that Ebert won’t: review.
April 24th, 2007
Bruce Weyhrauch (possibly pronounced Wayne) , 54, might have put everyone’s favorite villain, Mr. Freeze, to shame. In an accident that also showed how lame the Polar Bear Club could be, Bruce slipped on his boat and hit his head causing him to fall into Alaskan waters. He was confirmed missing on Sunday evening. After regaining consciousness, he swam for an hour in 40 degree water. In the process he might have eaten a blue whale and saved a polar bear from melting ice caps, but none of that can be confirmed due to the fact that when he was found he could not speak or move. He was found Monday morning. A friend had this to say:
We’re real, real glad to have found him when we did.
Bruce was part of the House of Representatives from 2003-2006. When he was found, his former colleagues pounded their desks and cheered in the House. If you need to get in touch with Weyhrauch, just shine his symbol in the sky.
You know damn well what symbol I’m talkin: bout.
April 24th, 2007
Many commuters go back and forth from the office with nothing to show for it. One bus stop is making a difference. On the corner of some street in Queens, a bus stop has decided to offer some useful advice. As it says by a person named C:
If your bitch cant swim. She going drown.
Truer words have never been said. Most commuters see this as a blessing in disguise. Said one commuter:
Hmmph? And here I thought I could simply throw my bitch in the water and she would figure it out. I guess not.
Will we see more sagely advice from bus stops in the future? Only our wise man “C” knows the answers. He might just be appearing on a bus stop near you, granted he isn’t apprehended for graffiti.
April 23rd, 2007
“…I support my own war…on your asshole”
There are many reasons celebrities shouldn’t participate openly in political discussion. Add another one on the list:
Singer Sheryl Crow has said a ban on using too much toilet paper should be introduced to help the environment. Crow has suggested using “only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where two to three could be required.”
This is the kind of laughable crap that makes me want to move to a styrofoam fortress in international waters where I burn my garbage in a fire in a barrell and subsist on Dolphin meat and endangered birds. I’d spend my afternoons dumping motor oil in the water, because I think it’s kind of a pretty when it makes those rainbow colors. In any event, I’m sick of all these celebrity luminaries who compare Bush to Hitler but have no problem putting a government agent in your bathroom to legislate how you wipe. Even the Nazis didn’t do that. I’m guessing Sheryl doesn’t eat Taco Bell. I do, and asking a fast-food man to limit himself to two or three sheets is like giving a janitor a mop and telling him to drain New Orleans.
Soak Up the Sun makes my ears bleed
April 23rd, 2007
In an attempt to get the word out about my site, I looked around for interesting news blogs. I’m too cheap to advertise and I’m providing you with the entertainment while I hone my skills. Anyway, whatever news blog that hadn’t given up one month into updating was too big for me. But then I found the Razzyblog.
This site has been around for almost two years so it is rich with articles about everything. Granted the design looks like undergraduate’s failed Html project, Razzy and her contributors, rant off about anything and everything. From John Mayer to fat fucks to 50 cent (and her many other various “boyfriends”), there is no topic untouched by Razzy. I stumbled onto this gem of a website when I googled “Jamie Foxx asshole.” The strange coincidence is that she wrote that post exactly a year ago today. With all sorts of her offensiveness crossing over all boundaries, I keep coming back to Razzy’s blog because I’m wondering what she is going to say next. So check out: RazzyBlog.
I wonder what would have came up if I put an apostrophe and “s” in my google search….
April 23rd, 2007
“Politics get ugly, REAL ugly.”
As Congress prepares for Bush to veto their war spending proposal, the funding issues could be readdressed as early as the summer. As Democrats try to end this war, cutting off funding will only harm the troops. Essentially you have a power struggle with the US troops suffering in the middle. If they don’t have the funds, they will be at the mercy of terrorists. James Moran (Rep- D Virginia) said:
We don’t want to throw in the towel. The problem is (Bush) is willing to play chicken with funding the troops and we aren’t. We just aren’t going to take a chance (the Pentagon) will run out of funding for the troops.
And once they do, the troops need to be pulled out or we’re looking at a massacre on which the blood of American troops will not be washed off by this President and this Congress. So it is either pull out or stay in, either way, let’s try not to make this bloody.
I thought menstruation and politics went: together?
