May 30th, 2007
“Back of the line buddy!”
You want in on the United States? Well it is now going to cost double. Starting July 30, the fees applying for citizenship, green cards and other services will double in an attempt to help speed up the process. U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services Director Emilio Gonzales had this to say:
I understand anytime there’s an increase there’s concern. The big difference here is what people will see with the price increase: a much improved agency that will do what it says it will do, an increase in efficiency and an increase in productivity. That’s something we’re going to stand by and we need the funds to accomplish.
So the lines will also be shorter? The conditions improved? The said the same thing about the NYC Subway, but for a price increase, all New Yorkers got were less snobby people in token booths.
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May 30th, 2007
“ooh Hell Nawwww”
Passengers on the Czech Airlines Flight 0104 to Montreal are being asked to get tested as a man with a deadly strand of TB was on board the flight last Thursday. The United States Center for Disease Control ordered isolation for the jerk man despite his TB being a low level risk. The form of TB is called XDR-TB. It is a drug resistant form that has a low transmission rate. The isolation was the first ordered in 44 years. CDC director Julie Gerberding had this to say:
His potential for transmission would be on the low side. However many of the people who have XDR-TB do not survive their infection.
And many people thought airline food would kill you. Passengers of the Czech Air Flight 0104 are asked to contact Health Canada at 1-866-225-0709.
Can you pass the: germs?
May 29th, 2007
A mid-op contemplates completion of gender re-assignment
I decided to report on this story because I can’t stress enough how happy I am that Rosie O’Donnell will no longer be polluting my television. Essentially, closure:
The straw that broke Rosie O’Donnell’s “View” back? According to Rosie pal Kathy Griffin, O’Donnell grew incensed when “View” producers chose to sensationalize the recent on-air fight between Ro and co-host Elisabeth Hasselbeck — with a split screen graphic…”I said, ‘What was it really?’” recalled Griffin. “‘The split-screen.” She said, ‘I don’t want to do “Hannity and Colmes.”
I’m glad we have Kathy Griffin to clarify. Rosie can sleep knowing she did her part to give her hag friend five seconds in the spotlight speaking for her. Can we simply call it as we see it? This move had little to do with Rosie’s disdain for the “Hannity and Colmes” format and much to do with her “Ralph Cramden with a jughead” looks being juxtaposed on HDTV with the boneriffic Hasselbeck’s. Aside from Beaver Behar and her fat, stupid ass, no one did more to politicize “The View” than Rosie.
As long as I don’t use nappy headed ho I think the title is fine
May 29th, 2007
6. Fake Baseball/Soccer-ball Through Window – If an actual baseball went through your window, it wouldn’t be caught in the window, and you certainly wouldn’t let it stay there. This new trend is brought on by men who try to masculinize their mini-van. You traded in your sports coupe to help carry your now fat wife and kids. This plastic balls gives off the appearance that it is stuck, but the only thing that is stuck is you Mr Mini-Van-Man. A half shaped piece of plastic isn’t going to change the fact.
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May 29th, 2007
“Back in my day, we just let the raccoons eat ‘em.”
It was recently discovered that blood taken from four Vietnamese bird flu survivors were able to be used as anti-bodies in mice for the avian disease. The anti-bodies may have an impacting effect on the H5N1 bird flu that is quickly becoming a pandemic. Dr Cameron Simmons, of the Hospital for Tropical Diseases in Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam had this to say:
We have shown that this technique can work to prevent and neutralise infection by the H5N1 bird flu virus in mice.
Many doctors (Dr. Simmons as well) don’t advocate sleeping with excessive Vietnamese people (or lab mice) to help obtain the antibodies.
Served up: fresh.
May 29th, 2007
“…where as we don’t”
As outsourcing to India grows, the job market has increased giving everyone a chance to make some money. Call centers in India have begun hiring the blind to help fill the growing demand. Nikita Patil, 23, works as a caller. Most of her callers don’t even know that she is blind. As she said:
It gets a bit difficult because every time it is a different customer while we are the same. We have to handle different types of customers – some are rude and I often don’t know how to talk to them, but some are friendly.
Surprisingly, she didn’t feel to make mention of her blindness. The National Association for the Blind (NAB) has been helping the visually impaired get jobs in India. Head of employment, Pallavi Kadam, had this to say:
Most of these candidates have been educated in the vernacular medium so we have to help them with personality development and speaking good English that is required in the market.
Yeah, nothing is more important than speaking that GOOD English.
Gets me news: hear.
