May 29th, 2007
“Do you think she’s good enough? Comment on it you lazy bastards!”
The Miss Universe pageant crowned a new winner last night. Riyo Mori, a 20 year old dancer from Japan, took the crown home. This has been Japan’s first win in 50 years. The second runner up was Ly Jonaitis of Venezuela and the third runner-up was Honey Lee of Korea. OverAdulthood ran into Miss Mori and asked her about her thoughts on winning, she might have replied with:
I’m really happy to have won….. Hey! HEY! My eyes are up here.
Below are some pictures of Riyo (yeah, we’re on a first name basis). Clean up before you go:
News from: here.
May 28th, 2007
“He’s wearing lavender, GET’ EM!!”
After the decriminalization of homosexuality 14 years ago, Gay activists took to the streets of Moscow for a Gay rights march. Unfortunately, the streets weren’t happy as anti-gay protesters beat and kicked Gay activists. Singer, Richard Fairbass was one of the many beaten and abused. He said:
When it was over I actually felt more sorry for the guy that whacked me than I did for me…
(Gay joke in poor taste removed) He went on to say:
How threatened can he be, how insecure is he to be threatened by a bisexual pop singer who’s most famous for singing ‘I’m too sexy’?
The gay part is looking less like a reason when Right-Said-Fred’s “I’m too sexy” is mentioned. Mayors of other cities were quick to chime in with their opinions. Mayor Ken Livingstone of London wrote a letter of “deep concern.” Paris Mayor Bertrand Delano called the attack on the march “unacceptable violence.” Meanwhile Moscow’s Mayor Luhzkov called homosexuality “satanic.” Members of the Russian Church chanted “Moscow is not Sodom.” That is quite apparent considering the only thing you’ll get in Moscow is a foot up your ass.
Moscow, not a fan of the: gay
May 28th, 2007
“Can you handle it?”
South Korea will be taking in all the American beef it can handle. As the United States tries to push its beef into multiple countries, South Korea will first put American beef through rigorous standards before it takes the beef down. Finance Minister Kwon O-kyu had this to say:
We will start to review the conditions for the import of American beef. All procedures will be finished by September.
So once September comes around, American beef will be in every hole in Korea. Of course this comes as the United States is in talks with putting its beef in Japan as well.
US beef gets: around.
May 28th, 2007
“You won’t believe where he put the gun.”
The Japanese Farm Minister was recently found unconscious yesterday after trying to hang himself with a dog leash. Toshikatsu Matsuoka was taken to the hospital where he was pronounced dead. Matsuoka recently came under fire by parliament for rigged contracts and political donations. He was set to face questions by the government but will have to reschedule on account of being dead. Prime Minister Shinzo Abe had this to say:
As the one who appointed Minister Matsuoka to the post, I feel responsible for the action taken by a cabinet member. It is extremely unfortunate and I am overwhelmed with regret. I want to pray for the rest of his soul. I had an opportunity to see his face. He had a very peaceful face.
When facing public embarrassment and possible jail time, hanging yourself is more peaceful than getting raped in jail on a daily basis. Environment Minister Masatoshi Wakabayashi will be the interim minister. One of his duties will be to handle the United States request to sell beef to Japan. Which should be an easy decision considering American beef is best exemplified by Taco Bell.
Beef it up: here.
May 25th, 2007
Rosie O’Donnell will make no further appearances, on The View, thanks in part to her obscene outbursts, which most recently included her morally equating our troops with terrorists and personally going after the beautiful, thin, and therefore far more relevant Mrs. Hasselbeck. Per an extremely friendly press release:
We had hoped that Rosie would be with us until the end of her contract three weeks from now, but Rosie has informed us that she would like an early leave. Therefore, we part ways, thank her for her tremendous contribution to ‘The View’ and wish her well
Rosie’s contributions included creating a freakshow atmosphere where those who normally wouldn’t pay attention to the show(read- male heteros and attractive females) tuned in for a daily dose of odd that’s no longer available since Lyndon Johnson freed the midgets(I think?). While none of us here at Overadulthood are Jewish, we prefer our television Kosher, sans angry pork like O’Donnell.
I think Rosie might have a future in magazines
May 25th, 2007
“I swear her neck was dry.”
James Pacenza, 58, has a dependency on adult chatrooms. So when he would visit them at work (IBM), it was also a way to also help his post-traumatic stress disorder from the Vietnam War. IBM didn’t buy it and fired him. Pacenza is now suing IBM for $5 million. His lawyer claims Pacenza used the internet as a way to treat his stress disorder. When asked how many times he claimed to be self-medicating, he said:
Three times at my desk, twice in the bathroom, and once in the office plant.
Six times in a day? If that is considered a lot, I might be overdosing.
Go lube: Go!
