Archive: August, 2007

Think Mike Vick’s a bad dude? Here are five equivalent scumbags who committed horrific crimes and just kept on playing…because hey, they’re talented: Continue »

Well what have we here? Why, it’s Britney sans clothing! Shocking. Evidently Hollywood’s favorite train wreck has been going to extreme lengths to keep her title as worst dressed human alive. Is she kidding with this outfit? Actually, when you’re missing half of it, I’m pretty sure it can’t really be considered an outfit. She managed to put on a shirt, AND tall slouchy boots, but pants, no. Sure…those are easy to forget…when you’re on drugs. Can anyone really be THIS bad at picking out clothing? Though in Britney’s case, she completely forgot to pick out clothes altogether. Maybe she figured it would be easier for her to go to the bathroom given that she doesn’t have to pull down anything. That sounds about right. First it was no shoes in the public bathroom, now no pants! She’s a genius! The only thing more shocking than this would be if there were some pictures of her taking care of her children.

Nick Bollea, better known as Nick Hogan, son of the famous ex-wrestler Hulk Hogan and star of the VH1 reality series “Hogan Knows Best,” was released from the hospital on Monday after being involved in a serious car crash with a friend. Apparently the 17-year-old Nick and his 22-year-old friend, John Graziano, were racing in Nick’s yellow Toyota Supra when the rear tires jumped a divider, causing the vehicle to spin furiously into a palm tree. Somehow Nick received only minor injuries, while his friend is still listed in critical condition at Bayfront Medical Center in St. Petersburg, Fla. Nick’s mother, Linda Hogan, said in a statement:

Nick is currently at the hospital with John and his family…his sole concern is for the well-being of his friend. On behalf of my family, we ask that your thoughts and prayers be with John and his loved ones.

While there is no doubt that Nick and his family feel bad about John, no one is paying attention to the real problem. Unbeknownst to some, Nick has had already three traffic warnings for speeding, and he’s only had his license for one year. Notice that these were warnings and not tickets. Evidently when you star in a mediocre reality show on VH1, aka your mom’s MTV, you become special to certain losers people. Nick was pulled over for doing 115 mph in a 70 mph zone, 57 mph in a 30 mph zone, and 106 mph in a 70 mph zone. The best part is, all the cops told him that they knew who he was, and they let him go. Good job. Now some kid is clinging to his life because the cops didn’t do their job and Nick didn’t learn his lesson. If I were the Hulk, I’d take one of my many wrestling championship belts and give Nick an old fashioned beating. Yea brother!

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“Go that way!”

United Nations - An office in the United Nations found poisonous chemicals. The poison might have been the chemical phosgene. U.N. officials had this to say:

U.N. archivists unexpectedly turned up samples of material from an Iraqi chemical weapons plant in weapons inspectors’ files dating back to the 1990s, but the substance is not believed to pose any immediate danger.

When I was a kid I used to keep strange vials containing my own self made cologne. Sadly it consisted of every cologne I could find, some perfumes, and powder. When I realized it wouldn’t be flying off the shelves at Macys, I tried to make some kid drink it. My brother got wise to my scheme and I got an appropriate beating from my parents. The lesson learned, try not to poison the lame kid who you use for his toys on the same floor as your apartment building.

This got twisted.

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“Dude got some crooked ass chompers.”

Los Angeles, California - Reporting that Owen Wilson tried to commit suicide isn’t timely, but the people who have been talking about his problems as of late merit discussion. For example, Bernie Brillstein, a veteran Hollywood manager who worked with John Belushi and Chris Farley had this to say:

He’s loved. It’s serious, but it’s a singular case. Anyone can have a bad day, a very bad day.

Brillstein should manage Wilson to help put that final nail in the coffin. It would only make him three for three and we all know how the power of three brings in good things. Another jackass who had to give his opinion is none other than veteran turd, Tom Arnold. Tom said:

Most people are confused by this, but as a recovering addict myself it gives me hope that this is his bottom and he can turn it around. He really is a good guy.

Tom! You and I both know you don’t have friends in Hollywood or anywhere. Hopefully Wilson gets the treatment he needs, acting school.

oh, snap.

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“Some of these girls are pretty cute. I wouldn’t mind sharing my “beliefs” on them.”

Seoul, Korea - When OverAdulthood first heard about Koreans being taken as hostages in Afghanistan, it was played off as small fries. With Korea’s army being one of the smallest forces in Afghanistan, it was nothing major for the Taliban. All Korea had to do was pull out of Afghanistan. However, when hostages were being killed, it got serious. And when two female captives fell ill, Korean intelligence told them to hold their ground. Whether or not it worked would be determined later but two hostages were freed. Now the freedom of the Korean hostages seems very plausible. The release would come as the South Korean military would vacate Afghanistan along with any other missionaries. Considering the military hadn’t been up to much in Afghanistan, it’s a shame that two people had to die for that message to be conveyed. According to Taliban spokesman Qari Yousef Ahmadi, the Taliban and the South Korean government had:

reached an agreement.

Hopefully this results in these hostages coming home. This way they can bother the hell out of people in their own country about the joys of Jesus. Although, the church that organized their trip claimed their work in Afghanistan wasn’t about spreading the word of their God, I can imagine someone dropped a C-bomb (I’m talkin Christ here people) at some point.

Let’s just end this.

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