“If everyone in here passed the bar, why didn’t they get me anything to drink!?!”

Des Moines, Iowa - After you get married, you generally want kids. Not in the case of Marcy Grant. This 32 year old alcoholic tried to sell her four year old child to help pay for a wedding dress. Grant faces up to 10 years in the slammer but pleaded in her defense:

I’m a good mommy. I’m an alcoholic, but I’m a good mommy.

Who refers to themselves as “mommy?” That’s just strange. And I highly doubt anyone would be marrying that piece of work. So when the reports say she was trying to sell her child for a wedding dress, I’m more likely to believe wedding dress meant case of Bud Ice and a bottle of Wild Turkey, because they sound the same when slurred.

drink: up!