For those of you who don’t live in the New York area, the Long Island Ducks are an independent minor league franchise with a roster that’s best described as a freak show. Over the years the roster has been populated by some of baseball’s most hilarious personality. In the last few years, the Ducks have signed the likes of Juan “Steroids” Gonzalez, Edgardo Alfonzo, Carl “ain’t nevah been no men on the moon” Everett, and Mets “can’t miss ” pitching prospect Paul Wilson(who somehow missed). Even Pete Rose’s less talented, equally ugly son is on this squad, which serves as a nostalgia freakshow for those of us who grew up in the mid ’90s.

Anyway, add former Mets pinch hitter extraordinaire Jose Offerman to the looney list. Just weeks ago, Offerman was known as nothing more than a marginal middle infielder who bounced around the league and filled in from time to time…until recently, that is:

Former major league All-Star Jose Offerman was charged with two counts of second-degree assault after hitting an opposing team’s pitcher and catcher with his bat during an independent minor league game. Offerman posted $10,000 bond and was due in Bridgeport Superior Court on Aug. 23, court officials said Wednesday.

Offerman, playing for the Long Island Ducks in the Atlantic League, homered in the first inning Tuesday night. The next inning, he was hit by a pitch from Bridgeport Bluefish starter Matt Beech and charged the mound with his bat.

Catcher John Nathans was hit in the head and sustained a concussion. He tried to keep playing, but left the game with nausea and collapsed in the dugout, team spokesman Nick Razzette said.

Beech, a left-hander, sustained a broken middle finger on his right hand. Both players were treated at a hospital and released.

I understand that competition and sports in general are ultimately a test of one’s manhood, and that’s part of the reason why I enjoy it. That said, it’s one thing for a pitcher to stand his ground against a charging adversary. It’s quite a different thing to stand one’s ground against some dude with a bat. That’s what’s commonly referred to in the man trades as MOOSE BALLS