“You’re a handsome devil…what’s your name?”

A Florida inmate was convicted earlier this week for engaging in one of the few pleasurable activities(outside of stabbin fools!) available to him:

In a verdict that could chill lonely inmates everywhere, a jury today convicted a Florida inmate for masturbating in the privacy of his Ft. Lauderdale cell. After deliberating for only 45 minutes, a Broward County panel found Terry Lee Alexander, 20, guilty of indecent exposure for an episode last November. According to investigators, a female guard–who was monitoring Alexander’s cell from a jail control room–spotted Alexander pleasuring himself while seated on his bunk.

God knows, nothing’s sexier than a room full of black dong and hepataitis stains…though maybe he’s into that sort of thing. In which case, it might have been far easier to craft something to squat on out of a corncob in the Mess Hall. Something more willing to lubricate and stop when you pass out from the pain….unlike Ray- J from the showers.

Note- Pictured above is some dude who wanks it to the dance scene in “Little Miss Sunshine.”

Dreams of Ray-J