“So Bill, I was thinking.. Bill! Are you dreaming of moist cigars again!?”
Des Moines, Iowa – It has always been known that people lose their minds for Bill Clinton. It was especially evident when Bill hit Hillary’s campaign trail in Iowa the other day. Bill’s speech was shortened to a meager eight minutes due to the fact that his charisma would overshadow Hillary’s bland character. Billy Clinton dropped these words on us:
There’s one guy in the back there who represents the group I belong to. It says, ‘Husbands for Hillary. I’d be here tonight, if she asked me, if we weren’t married.
Mahmoud Ahmadinejad(Iran) and Hugo Chavez(Venezuela) got together to discuss important issues like women’s rights, Jewish rights, and freedom of the press earlier this week, except, well…not at all.:
Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez told his Iranian counterpart on Sunday the two oil-rich states, which have forged close ties in opposition to the United States, should cooperate to defeat imperialism, Iranian media said.Chavez and Iran’s Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, who both regularly rail against Washington, met during an official visit by the Venezuelan leader to the Islamic Republic. Chavez arrived on Saturday after visiting Russia and Belarus.
I know I’d be a little miffed if I was an autocrat who couldn’t go about with my lifelong vision of murdering Jews and slaughtering capitalist pigs. I can’t imagine what this coalition of freedom loving autocrats will look like, but I’m hoping it’s lead by the likes of Cobra Commander, or at least a cheap knock-off with a cool name like “General Snake.” He could be a Muslim Communist with a Kim Jong Il megalomania and maybe he has “cohorts.” They can sit around scheming in an underground fortress or super-armed submarine and threaten to blow up the world every time an American politician says something like “you know, maybe you should ease up on the whole ‘push the Jews into the sea…’ thing” or “executing journalists…sooooooo not cool.”
“Other campaign ads make fake promises. You won’t find none of that here.”
The States – Barack Obama is rolling in cash. Between the months of April and June, Obama brought in $32.5 million dollars. This blew away Clinton’s record raking set earlier this quarter by 6.5 million. Barack Obama might have had this to say:
I’m rich bitch!!
Obama plans to use a majority of his cash during the primaries while Clinton plans to use her cash for the general election and parody videos that do well on YouTube. Other candidates who raised noteworthy cash included John Edwards and Bill Richardson, who raised $9 million and $7 million respectively. Which in the political world is expressed accordingly as: chump change.
“In Russia, your hand would be chopped off for touching Putin.”
Maine U.S. – This past weekend, the Bush clan had a sleepover guest, Russian President (and all around general bad boy) Vladimir Putin. The sleepover followed general protocol with George Bush Snr picking up Vladimir. Unfortunately, it wasn’t from Putin’s house but from his jet. George and Laura eagerly waited outside their house for Vladimir. When Vladimir arrived, he brought flowers for Laura and her mother-in-law. Putin was then given a fruit juice box for his kindness. After meeting the rest of the family, he met with US Secretary of State, Condoleezza Rice. The rest of the weekend included a scary movie, midnight cheese and cracker snacks, and a blanket fort. And although it was a relaxing weekend, there was also plenty of time to discuss politics as George Snr decreed that Vlad and Georgie be given a lot of alone time. Enjoy the pictures!
On Da Hill - Usually when a political pundit attacks a candidate, it makes for interesting television. But when Anne Coulter attacks John Edwards, it makes for cold hard cash. In the latest of emails, Edwards had cited how Coulter said (she had wished) he would be “killed in a terrorist plot.” And this isn’t the first time Edwards has put Coulter’s words to work. The former North Carolina Senator was able to raise a sweet $300,000 from Coulter’s “faggot” remark. From being called “faggot” to having your death wished upon, where did it all go south:
In answering criticism of her March speech, Coulter referred to comedian Bill Maher’s suggestion, also in March, that “people wouldn’t be dying needlessly” if Vice President Dick Cheney had been killed when terrorists launched an attack as he visited Afghanistan. She contends that Maher — whose comment about Cheney drew little attention — was not joking.
Of course the situation got sexy when Coulter appeared…
Presidential loser and charisma vacuum John Kerry and assorted other members of the Human Wasteland known as “The American Government” are lining up en masse behind a piece of legislation known as “The Fairness Doctrine.” What is the Fairness Doctrine?
The Fairness Doctrine was a regulation of the United States Federal Communications Commission (FCC) which required broadcast licensees to present controversial issues of public importance, and to present such issues in what was deemed an honest, equal and balanced manner. It has since been repealed by the FCC and aspects of it have been questioned by courts.
John Kerry has a banana in his pocket over the Fairness Doctrine.
Hillary Clinton finally chose her campaign song. For those who were also holding their breath in excitement, the Senator from New York decided to go with the powerhouse that is Celine Dion. Dion being the most ultimate singer out there, Clinton basically has this election in the bag. With lyrics like:
You and I, we’re meant to fly. Higher than the clouds we’ll sail across the sky.
Obama better counter with something special like resurrecting Bruce Lee. However, the manner in which she drew press to her decision was quite absurd. In a parody mocking the final episode of The Sopranos, Hillary is scrolling through music choices as Bill joins her and Chelsea is out parking the car. The irony is that the people in the diner during The Sopranos final episode were people who wanted to kill Tony. However you won’t see characters like Dick Morris or Christopher Andersen lurking in this video, just a sullen Bill forced to be there.
I keep of a picture of Celine near my bed. Here is the video:
“Illegal Immigrants penetrate the indomitable American Border Defenses”
Yesterday, the Senate took one look at the American public, whipped out its Immigration Bill, and shouted “you will take it and you will like it.”
The bill was sidetracked last week after it gained just 45 of the 60 votes needed to advance. Republicans accounted for only seven of the 45 votes, and Reid said, “We’ll move on to immigration when they have their own act together.”
The bill includes measures designed to seal the border to future illegal immigrants, while cracking down on the hiring of workers who are in the country unlawfully.
But the provisions relating to the legal fate of the estimated 12 million illegal immigrants has drawn the most controversy.
The bill allows illegal immigrants who were in the country as of Jan. 1, 2007, to come forward, pay fees and fines, pass a background check and receive an indefinitely renewable four-year Z visa to live and work legally in the U.S.
One thing’s for sure: When two parties who hate each other more than they collectively hate Osama Bin Laden get together and agree on something, the American people end up reaching for the K-Y jelly.
All I know is that immigrants have sweet gold teeth.
Muslim cabdrivers in Minnesota are upset about a new law that forces them to ferry passengers carrying alcohol:
Although Hogan said the measure was implemented without incident, it has provoked outrage among some of the 900 cab drivers who work the airport. About three quarters of them are Somali, most of whom are Muslim.
“A few of them are really, really upset about it,” said Omar Jamal, executive director of the Somali Justice Advocacy Center in neighboring St. Paul. “They believe they have been forced into something against their faith, something against their religion.”
My how things have changed. My suggestion would be for these gentleman to find another job. About the only reason anyone calls a taxi is because their substance abuse has put them in a position where they can’t afford a car or their substance abuse has put them in a position where they can’t drive a car. If he can’t drive, I’m sure Ahmed the taxi driver can make a decent living weaving baskets and…and…well, hmm… maybe he’d do better as a “Feed the Children” extra back in the motherland?
“You could either go with these stock bars or the glittery kind for a carton of smokes.”
Scooter Libby was sentenced to two and a half years for lying about the outing of a CIA spy. U.S. District Court Judge Reggie Walton said:
People who occupy these types of positions, where they have the welfare and security of nation in their hands, have a special obligation to not do anything that might create a problem. Mr. Libby failed to meet that bar. For whatever reason, he got off course.
Of course, this jail sentence means many inmates will be getting off on Scooter. Probably literally.
Fatal error: Call to undefined function tb_post_thumb() in /home/overadult/overadulthood.com/wp-content/themes/dd-overadulthood/sidebar-right.php on line 26
