October 30th, 2007
Mitt Romney took a pimp swing at Hillary Clinton on Sean Hannity:
And I think the greatest drawback beyond the direction she’d take us is that she’s never run anything. She’s never had the occasion of being in the private sector, running a business, or, for that matter, running a state or a city. She hasn’t run anything, and the government of the United States is not a place for a president to be an intern. You need to have experience actually leading and running things.
I tend to agree with Romney on this one. I’ve never bought into the mantra of political experience, particularly in an era when Americans are increasingly dissatisfied with government. Running as an experienced career politician is like a fox running for President of the Henhouse. This woman has been in the Senate for quite some time now, and her only accomplishments are an unparallelled pair of cankles and a large collection of pants suits. Her weather vane philosophy of governance is the last thing we need in these perilous times.
As for Romney, he enjoyed a long and successful career in the private sector where people are expected to produce tangible results and take responsibility for their actions with other people’s money, which is even more impressive when you realize that this man is a Mormon who believes in magical underwear and the Native American tribe of Israel. Yeah, I wish that were a punch line…
Boom!
October 26th, 2007
“Does this make them even more desperate?”
The fall television season is upon us and so are the MILFs of Wisteria Lane. Lock up your gardeners and teen age boys this, is The WTF Files!
iReporters – WTF?!?
CNN is cheapening the profession of journalism with its iReport initiative, which turns ‘one’ this week. And like most one year-olds their iReporters do nothing more babble, slobber and annoy the hell out of the older reporters, and I can’t even say they’re all that cute.
If a 24/7 news format is too much for CNN to handle they should create additional Wolf Blitzer clones. Otherwise, hire more professional reporters because the last thing I want to see on AC 360 is my grandmother covering the next California wildfire… she carries around an oxygen tank to breath.
Birth Order – WTF?!?
According to a Norwegian study the order in which you were born says a lot about who you are, much like how the being the eldest usually says you’re a dick. We’re playing with fire when we start playing favorites and that’s just what this study does.
The study states that being the eldest means being a natural leader and a problem solver, that you have a great hair and you get all the chicks. No where do they make mention of being a good at making apologies. So if you’re the eldest now might be the time to pick up the phone and tell your little brother you’re sorry for teaching him how to smoke. He believed you when you said it was cool.
Continue »
October 24th, 2007
OA - NBC aired its first episode of Phenomenon tonight. Although the tricks could easily be staged, they could also be well produced. The idea of magic being this impossible event made possible has already passed. Society has become way too skeptical to believe some jerk is performing truly magical acts. The host, your typical British man, did a good job to keep viewers hooked between commercials. The commentary from Uri Gellar seemed credible. However, the commentary from Criss Angel seemed forced and absurd. Anyone should be insulted to take performance tips from an ass who insists on making biting gestures to a camera. Here were tonight’s four “mentalists” and their acts:
Ehud Segev - He was able to “transfer” touch between two people without either of them actually touching. This trick would be too easy staged. Given that it was “live” we can only ‘believe’ this guy was talented. Trick wise, it seemed boring. The two participants were Carmen Electra and Ross (Gay guy from the Tonight Show with Jay Leno). I would’ve been a lot more impressed if he actually touched them with sledgehammers.
Jim Karol - This guy put his hand in a wolf trap while guessing what celebrity another woman wrote on a card. Another easily staged trick but his build up was slightly more entertaining. However, he did look like a “lumberjack” (Uri’s words) and was anything but phenomenal.
Eran Raven - Anyone named Raven should be slapped and his trick involved guessing what nail gun Carmen Electra loaded wasn’t actually carrying real nails. I guessed gun 2 and if I was on stage, it would have been a lot more entertaining to see me guess wrong than watch this fool blow chunks.
Gerry McCambridge - This moron guessed a phone number out of four phone books using random people and selection. I wasn’t impressed because I couldn’t get over the fact how much of an asshole this guy looked like.
The only slightly impressive event was watching Uri Gellar ‘project’ a symbol into people’s minds. I didn’t know the answer to that because the lights in the background were too distracting by making star like shapes the entire show. Concentrating would cause anyone to choose that. On top of that these people are considered “stars” (well somewhat). All together the show doesn’t have anything worth checking out for a second time or really the first.
he chose a star..
October 19th, 2007
I’m glad I don’t live in California:
City health officials took steps Thursday toward opening the nation’s first legal safe-injection room, where addicts could shoot up heroin, cocaine and other drugs under the supervision of nurses.Hoping to reduce San Francisco’s high rate of fatal drug overdoses, the public health department co-sponsored a symposium on the only such facility in North America, a four-year-old Vancouver site where an estimated 700 intravenous users a day self-administer narcotics under the supervision of nurses.
Nothing says “thank you middle class, for working hard and making good decisions…not to mention paying your obscenely high taxes” quite like rewarding a bunch of ingrate douchebags who can’t handle their shit. It’s nice to know that if I decide to give up on my life and shoot narcotics into my veins I’ll have a place to go pass out and piss all over myself.
link and a nod
October 18th, 2007
Every time I see a cute little girl chasing balloons or adorably holding her daddy’s finger with her pint sized hand I am compelled to rethink my contempt for the dreaded possibility of fathering girls. Then I read stories like this one and I go into what can only be described as a “cringe coma.”
PORTLAND, Maine - After an outbreak of pregnancies among middle school girls, education officials in this city have decided to allow allow one school’s health center to make birth control pills available to girls as young as 11.
King Middle School will become the first middle school in Maine to make a full range of contraception available, including birth control pills, patches and condoms. There are no national figures on how many middle schools provide such services. Most middle schoolers range in age from 11 to 13.
When I was 11 there were the one or two hormonally advanced girls that had some semblance of breasts and were the object of everyone’s affection. Maybe, just maybe one of them came from a difficult family situation and was raging against her parents enough for one or two guys to get a chance at playing doctor. By the time I have kids, I fully expect to walk them into a Kindergarten class that’s more Dutch brothel than Disney Channel.
CRINGE!
October 18th, 2007
“Now that his photo is on OverAdulthood, it won’t be long before he is caught.”
Bangkok, Thailand - Christopher Paul Neil has been eluding police for years. He has been on three continents escaping police while on his pleasure path of molesting children. Three thai teens came forward claiming Neil paid them for sex while they between the ages of 9 and 14. Leading the investigation Police Col. Apichart Suribunya (love the name) had this to say:
We are quite certain he is still in Thailand and we think we are moving closer. Even if he uses a fake passport to try to get out of the country, his pictures are already published everywhere.
You know the Thai don’t fuck around. If you’re gonna buy sex, they give you plenty of options to pick up someone at least 16. One time I recall a very young Thai prostitute walking the streets with a man wearing nothing but thermal. I tried to buy her freedom away from him, but she was a sucker for thermal. Aren’t we all though?
go thai cops go!
October 18th, 2007
“Mona didn’t know how to tell her husband Bill she was going bald.”
San Francisco, California - People Art nuts always wondered what happened to Mona Lisa’s eyebrows and eye lashes. Was Leonardo DaVinci trying to glorify hair loss? A engineer and inventor, Pascal Cotte, claims to have found the answer. Using his own camera, he magnified an image of the painting and was able to find proof that there used to be eyebrows and eye lashes. As Cotte said:
And if you look closely at the eye of ‘Mona Lisa’ you can clearly see that the cracks around the eye have slightly disappeared, and that may be explained that one day a curator or restorer cleaned the eye, and cleaning the eye, removed, probably removed the eyelashes and eyebrow.
About time they put that mystery to bed. Next, they should take on finding out what happened to Whoopi Goldberg’s eyebrows because I’m sure people have been wondering for ages.
Oh oda-mae!
October 16th, 2007
“Remember, sweat doubles as lube…”
Atlanta, Georgia - The ides of October just passed and the chances of a rapper getting arrested were looking grim but thanks to rapper T.I., let embarrassment of the rap community continue! Clifford Harris (T.I.) was arrested on gun charges yesterday. The rapper, a convicted felon, doesn’t have the right to own any firearms. So when he gave his bodyguard $12,000 to buy some weapons, his “protector” turned snitch and ratted him out to the cops. According to David Nahmias, U.S. attorney for the Northern District of Georgia:
The last place machine guns should be is in the hands of a convicted felon, who cannot legally possess any kind of firearm. This convicted felon allegedly was trying to add several machine guns to an already large and entirely illegal arsenal of guns.
T.I’s defense team claimed there are always “two sides to a story, sometimes three,” but I think he should use his lyrics as his defense, such as:
t.i. - Call me candle guy, simply because I am on fire.
Wouldn’t we be doing the jail system a favor if we prevented a guy with hemorrhoids (or possibly gonorrhea) from entering its cells? Just sayin…
Up in this peace!
October 15th, 2007
“Comment if you can actually see the dog covered in lime, because I can’t”
San Juan, Puerto Rico - Government animals workers were hired to remove dozens of animals from the projects of Barceloneta and instead of bringing them to the shelter, workers threw them off a bridge. Spit that damage control Mayor Sol Luis Fontanez:
This is an irresponsible, inhumane and shameful act.
Yeah because the commonwealth of Puerto Rico really needs to be focusing on animal welfare. What really boggles the mind was that the workers were paid $60 for each animal recovered and $100 for each animal brought to the shelter. Then again, this is the same country’s whose parade in NYC is known for poorly planned actions and thoughts. Alma Febus, an animal welfare activist, had this to say:
They came as if it were a drug raid. They took away dogs, cats and whatever animal they could find. Some pets were taken away in front of children.
These were stray animals. I’m all for animals, but they need to pick up each animal activist and throw them in a country like India where animals run in wild packs attacking people. They don’t call America the land of opportunity because you can work minimum wage at Wal-Mart, it’s also because you can comfortably walk most of the streets (sorry Midwest) and not fear being attacked by rabies induced animals.
here kitty here
October 15th, 2007
“Oh, That’s what happened to the other guy!”
Indiana County, Pennsylvania - Just when you thought it was safe the vend again, the Pepsi/Cola wars are back! Except now on a minimum wage level. In Coke’s corner, Robert Koscho, 48 and in Pepsi’s corner, David Paulina, 42. Let’s Get Ready To Deliver!!! These two delivery men were fighting over shelf space at a Wal-Mart. It escalated when Pepsi met up with Coke in the parking lot and punched him enough times to break his nose and give him a black eye. Gary Baum, who owns Cook’s Market in Greensburg (local papers enjoy shamelessly plugging local stores) had this to say:
Most places have to pay premium prices for each linear foot of shelf space, especially when you get to the frozen food, beverages, cigarette companies.
Talk about company devotion. According to reports, the Pepsi guy was fired. The Coke guy is probably being bumped up to middle management. If the Mountain Dew Man was there, there would probably be a mess red and blue cans lying all over the place while MDM stood atop a pile of limbs chanting, “low sperm count, low sperm count, GO YELLOW 5!”
that’s how i dream
