July 11th, 2007
“I’m gonna go play a ginormous game of sudoku. My DVR is recording my favorite speed dating show as we speak. And when I’m done, I’m going to listen to Lil John. Man can crunk!”
That sentence one day ago had five less legitimate words than it does today. The Merriam-Webster Dictionary added close to 100 new words in its 2007 copyright version of its dictionary. Ginormous topped 2005′s list of “Favorite Word (Not in the Dictionary)” and now, two years later, it has become an official word.
America gets a bigger vocabulary, but it looks as if we still can’t spell because no one clued in spell check…
To the window, to the wall!
July 10th, 2007
“Can you hear me now?!”
On June 29th, Sprint filed for a divorce from over 1,000 customers due to excessive calls to customer service. Part of the letter reads:
Our records indicate that over the past year, we have received frequent calls from you regarding your billing or other general account information. While we have worked to resolve your issues and questions to the best of our ability, the number of inquiries you have made to us during this time has led us to determine that we are unable to meet your current wireless needs.
The letter ends with the notification that the customers service will end July 30, 2007. Luckily, those who have been dumped by Sprint will not have to pay an early termination fee. Sprint pretty much gave their soon-to-be exes the opportunity to get an iPhone…
Now that’s alimony!
July 9th, 2007
“Larger overhead compartment or even smaller Asian?”
Everett, Washingon – Despite the forced praise from Boeing employees, the standing ovation from plane enthusiasts, and Tom Brockaw calling the plane a “rock star,” many forget the Boeing 787 is just a plane. Boasting a more fuel efficient engine with a nicer first class, the Boeing speaks of nothing for the coach class other than a larger overhead compartment. W. James McNerney Jr., Boeing’s president and CEO, had this to say:
Boeing has gathered the best ideas and brightest minds from around the world.
That right there is their first problem. Passenger comfort would best be understood by the lazy and uninspired because they would know how to sit around for hours doing nothing.
Smoking section still not: back.
July 9th, 2007
“PS3 markets system with added features!”
Santa Monica, California – Sony has finally decided to cut the cost of its precious Playstation 3 on the eve of the E3 conference, where nerds and journalists go to play video games. The $100 price cut will make the PS3 only a somewhat ridiculous $499. This is in response to the beating Sony has been taking by Xbox 360 and Nintendo Wii. Jack Tretton, president and CEO of Sony Computer Entertainment America, said:
We march to the beat of our own drummer. No one believed in product-life cycles of more than five years, but we proved it with the original PlayStation and we’ve seen the benefits of that in the PS2. And now we’re doing same thing with the PS3. It comes with considerable investment for consumers and developers, but it will pay off.
The only investment consumers are getting is a guaranteed spot in the poor people line. As to whether there is a drum to march to on that one has been unconfirmed.
Wii pimp smacked: Sony.
July 3rd, 2007
“Moving into your neighborhood!”
Ever wonder what it would be like to be a cartoon? Not to have a cartoon version of yourself, but to actually jump into the cartoon world as your actual self. If so, your dream can now come true. Thanks to the marketing geniuses behind The Simpsons Movie, at least a dozen 7-11’s across the United States and Canada have been remodeled to mimic the Kwik-E-Mart in The Simpsons cartoon, in lieu of the July 27th movie release.
To help bring the Kwik-E-Marts to life, there are nine life-size characters, such as; Homer, Marge, Lisa, Maggie, store owner Apu, Chief Wiggum and Comic Book Guy, that are placed in and out of each store. Other characters, such as Jasper Beardly, will be hiding in the bagged ice freezer. That long beard will turn into icicles in no time. Next season on The Simpsons, the writers should dedicate an entire episode as to why he had to change his name from Beardly to Icely and the entire town should solve the mystery as to how the beard turned to ice in the first place. Talk about blurring the lines of reality. You know smarty pants Lisa would chime in at the end of the episode with something like, “Remember when we did publicity for our movie?” And make solving a mystery look so easy.
In addition to walking around and seeing the yellow cartoon characters come to life, you will also be able to purchase the products they eat. You can chomp down on “Frosted Krusty O’s” in the morning and drink “Buzz Cola” with your friends at night.
This is pop culture at its finest. The Simpsons have managed to weasel its way into everyday life for the past 20 years. Some fanatics may say Kwik-E-Marts should have come to life years ago. Speaking of years ago….shouldn’t Maggie be walking by now?
Have a: Duff.
June 28th, 2007
The Net – MySpace launched its beta of MySpace Fashion back in January and already has close to 50,000 members. With partnerships including Nylon Magazine and Instyle.com, MySpace Fashion consists of a featured designer section, featured events and a box of syndicated news from its partner, InStyle.com.
Not only is MySpace dabbling in fashion on the designer side, but last week, the ever growing online community partnered with Ford Models’ Supermodels of the World Search. MySpace will house clips of behind-the-scenes footage from the search.
This is good news for the female members of MySpace who take pictures of themselves making sure their cleavage looks hot. They now have a chance to see what it’s really like to be a model, and can now check out clothes on MySpace Fashion so they can finally dress themselves for their next default pic.
June 4th, 2007
“A little tech lesson.”
Sony’s Blu-ray DVD players have taken a price cut. The regularly 499$ player will now be a hundred dollars cheaper. This comes as the demand for blu-ray players grows and the production costs cheapen. Of course that ignore simple economics that when a demand increases, so should the price. It may not have anything to do with the fact Toshiba’s HD-DVD player sells for $300. Or that both Toshiba and Sony are vying for customers in a struggling market. This battle reminds many people of the VHS-Betamax war. The last time Sony tried to market their own brand, it ended terribly. Sony’s MiniDisc players are more often used as coasters than they are for listening to music. Here are differences between the two types of discs:
Both are able to store large amounts of data, important for high-definition images and high-fidelity audio, and both use a blue laser to read information. Used in games consoles, the two formats offer detailed graphics and stunning sound on one disc.
Oh wait, there aren’t any difference.
Big Trouble in Little China looks good enough in: DVD
May 25th, 2007
“And got more whips than a runaway slave”
The soft drink giant decided to acquire the vitamin water company for 4.1 billion. This is Coca-Cola’s attempt to stay current and fresh considering people are cutting back on soda. Glaceau’s Vitamin water features the notable character 50 cent on one of its signature drinks, Platinum 50. OverAdulthood got in touch with 50 cent about the buyout and this is what he might’ve said:
I’m laughin straight to the bank with this, ha… hahahaha.
I get my vitamin water: here.
May 23rd, 2007
“And this is during rush hour.”
You’ll still be able to find your favorite middle eastern man driving the big yellow, but at least he will be helping the environment. By 2012, NYC plans to replace all yellow cabs with hybrid yellow cabs. Running on electricity and petrol, the cabs will emit less carbon gases. What do you gotta say about that Mayor Bloomie:
The benefits are going to be felt by generations of New Yorkers. Going hybrid will shrink the city’s carbon footprint.
So when cab drivers are speeding even more menacingly than before, step back onto the curb. Because Achmed is saving the environment.
What are you doing to: help?
May 16th, 2007
“Hmm I wonder if this plays Solitaire?”
Microsoft has always been known for its software, but as the Windows Hardware Engineering Conference went underway, Bill Gates, announced the software giant plans to make moves towards products such as PC phones and PCs outside of the standard convention. As said eloquently by Bill:
The phone is going to be the PC. The PC is going to be the phone.
All this jibba jabba comes as Windows Vista has sold over 40 million copies. As to how many of these copies were bought by giant computer companies is unknown. Another cockamamie idea that Gates proposed was a PC shaped like a light bulb. Which sounds like a lovely idea when carrying up a flight of stairs. The idea to make a PC lighter, smaller, or even cheaper was considered but then deemed “silly” and “strange.”
Where my Google heads: at?
