Topic: Moderate

An ugly battle is brewing between the people who run the internet and the people who run everything else. Viacom has reportedly filed a 1 billion dollar copyright lawsuit against Google and its subsidiary Youtube. According to the AP:

A quick search of YouTube’s site Tuesday turned up numerous clips from Viacom programs including segments from Comedy Central’s “The Daily Show with Jon Stewart” and Nickelodeon’s “SpongeBob SquarePants” cartoon.

In the lawsuit, filed in U.S. District Court in New York, Viacom says YouTube harnessed technology to willfully infringe copyrights on a huge scale and had brazen disregard of intellectual property laws.

YouTube’s soaring popularity has been a cause of fascination but also fear among the owners of traditional media outlets, who worry that YouTube’s displaying of user-uploaded clips from their programs — without compensation — will lure away viewers and ad dollars from cable and broadcast TV.

An anonymous Viacom employee was quoted as saying:

Holy shit…this sucks!!! Here I am overworked, underpaid, and now they’re going to rape from me the single thing that brings joy to my day? How am I supposed to procrastinate now? What am I going to do? Go back to the old days of reading away messages??!!It just won’t do!!! Good Lord!

On the real

In a move that most New Yorkers believe will finally get the rest of those Goddamned hipsters out of their collective sight, Starbucks Coffee has announced a major  expansion. As a public service, Starbucks Cofffee will add over 40,000 stores in the near future, worldwide, stretching from Brooklyn to Belarus.  Said a spokesman:

We will open at least 40,000 cafes.  We understand your plight, and we dont’ want this to degenerate to the point of no return.  No longer will you be forced  to look upon the unwashed masses of sociology majors and hipster artistes, and you will like it! Nay, you will love us for it!  Now please, would somebody, for the love of GOD, by an Antigone Rising CD?  We’ve been trying to get rid of these things for like two years now. 

Forgive me, but I dig the coffee.  No rhyme, no reason.  Starbuck’s coffee tastes like newspaper print that got too close to some homeless guy’s Mason Jar full of urine, but nothing compares once you’ve been infected by it.

ORANGE MOCHA FRAPPUCCINO!!!!