Mitt Romney took a pimp swing at Hillary Clinton on Sean Hannity:
And I think the greatest drawback beyond the direction she’d take us is that she’s never run anything. She’s never had the occasion of being in the private sector, running a business, or, for that matter, running a state or a city. She hasn’t run anything, and the government of the United States is not a place for a president to be an intern. You need to have experience actually leading and running things.
I tend to agree with Romney on this one. I’ve never bought into the mantra of political experience, particularly in an era when Americans are increasingly dissatisfied with government. Running as an experienced career politician is like a fox running for President of the Henhouse. This woman has been in the Senate for quite some time now, and her only accomplishments are an unparallelled pair of cankles and a large collection of pants suits. Her weather vane philosophy of governance is the last thing we need in these perilous times.
As for Romney, he enjoyed a long and successful career in the private sector where people are expected to produce tangible results and take responsibility for their actions with other people’s money, which is even more impressive when you realize that this man is a Mormon who believes in magical underwear and the Native American tribe of Israel. Yeah, I wish that were a punch line…
The fall television season is upon us and so are the MILFs of Wisteria Lane. Lock up your gardeners and teen age boys this, is The WTF Files!
iReporters – WTF?!?
CNN is cheapening the profession of journalism with its iReport initiative, which turns ‘one’ this week. And like most one year-olds their iReporters do nothing more babble, slobber and annoy the hell out of the older reporters, and I can’t even say they’re all that cute.
If a 24/7 news format is too much for CNN to handle they should create additional Wolf Blitzer clones. Otherwise, hire more professional reporters because the last thing I want to see on AC 360 is my grandmother covering the next California wildfire… she carries around an oxygen tank to breath.
Birth Order – WTF?!?
According to a Norwegian study the order in which you were born says a lot about who you are, much like how the being the eldest usually says you’re a dick. We’re playing with fire when we start playing favorites and that’s just what this study does.
The study states that being the eldest means being a natural leader and a problem solver, that you have a great hair and you get all the chicks. No where do they make mention of being a good at making apologies. So if you’re the eldest now might be the time to pick up the phone and tell your little brother you’re sorry for teaching him how to smoke. He believed you when you said it was cool.
OA - NBC aired its first episode of Phenomenon tonight. Although the tricks could easily be staged, they could also be well produced. The idea of magic being this impossible event made possible has already passed. Society has become way too skeptical to believe some jerk is performing truly magical acts. The host, your typical British man, did a good job to keep viewers hooked between commercials. The commentary from Uri Gellar seemed credible. However, the commentary from Criss Angel seemed forced and absurd. Anyone should be insulted to take performance tips from an ass who insists on making biting gestures to a camera. Here were tonight’s four “mentalists” and their acts:
Ehud Segev - He was able to “transfer” touch between two people without either of them actually touching. This trick would be too easy staged. Given that it was “live” we can only ‘believe’ this guy was talented. Trick wise, it seemed boring. The two participants were Carmen Electra and Ross (Gay guy from the Tonight Show with Jay Leno). I would’ve been a lot more impressed if he actually touched them with sledgehammers.
Jim Karol - This guy put his hand in a wolf trap while guessing what celebrity another woman wrote on a card. Another easily staged trick but his build up was slightly more entertaining. However, he did look like a “lumberjack” (Uri’s words) and was anything but phenomenal.
Eran Raven - Anyone named Raven should be slapped and his trick involved guessing what nail gun Carmen Electra loaded wasn’t actually carrying real nails. I guessed gun 2 and if I was on stage, it would have been a lot more entertaining to see me guess wrong than watch this fool blow chunks.
Gerry McCambridge - This moron guessed a phone number out of four phone books using random people and selection. I wasn’t impressed because I couldn’t get over the fact how much of an asshole this guy looked like.
The only slightly impressive event was watching Uri Gellar ‘project’ a symbol into people’s minds. I didn’t know the answer to that because the lights in the background were too distracting by making star like shapes the entire show. Concentrating would cause anyone to choose that. On top of that these people are considered “stars” (well somewhat). All together the show doesn’t have anything worth checking out for a second time or really the first.
Every time I see a cute little girl chasing balloons or adorably holding her daddy’s finger with her pint sized hand I am compelled to rethink my contempt for the dreaded possibility of fathering girls. Then I read stories like this one and I go into what can only be described as a “cringe coma.”
PORTLAND, Maine - After an outbreak of pregnancies among middle school girls, education officials in this city have decided to allow allow one school’s health center to make birth control pills available to girls as young as 11.
King Middle School will become the first middle school in Maine to make a full range of contraception available, including birth control pills, patches and condoms. There are no national figures on how many middle schools provide such services. Most middle schoolers range in age from 11 to 13.
When I was 11 there were the one or two hormonally advanced girls that had some semblance of breasts and were the object of everyone’s affection. Maybe, just maybe one of them came from a difficult family situation and was raging against her parents enough for one or two guys to get a chance at playing doctor. By the time I have kids, I fully expect to walk them into a Kindergarten class that’s more Dutch brothel than Disney Channel.
Atlanta, Georgia - The ides of October just passed and the chances of a rapper getting arrested were looking grim but thanks to rapper T.I., let embarrassment of the rap community continue! Clifford Harris (T.I.) was arrested on gun charges yesterday. The rapper, a convicted felon, doesn’t have the right to own any firearms. So when he gave his bodyguard $12,000 to buy some weapons, his “protector” turned snitch and ratted him out to the cops. According to David Nahmias, U.S. attorney for the Northern District of Georgia:
The last place machine guns should be is in the hands of a convicted felon, who cannot legally possess any kind of firearm. This convicted felon allegedly was trying to add several machine guns to an already large and entirely illegal arsenal of guns.
T.I’s defense team claimed there are always “two sides to a story, sometimes three,” but I think he should use his lyrics as his defense, such as:
t.i. - Call me candle guy, simply because I am on fire.
Wouldn’t we be doing the jail system a favor if we prevented a guy with hemorrhoids (or possibly gonorrhea) from entering its cells? Just sayin…
Indiana County, Pennsylvania - Just when you thought it was safe the vend again, the Pepsi/Cola wars are back! Except now on a minimum wage level. In Coke’s corner, Robert Koscho, 48 and in Pepsi’s corner, David Paulina, 42. Let’s Get Ready To Deliver!!! These two delivery men were fighting over shelf space at a Wal-Mart. It escalated when Pepsi met up with Coke in the parking lot and punched him enough times to break his nose and give him a black eye. Gary Baum, who owns Cook’s Market in Greensburg (local papers enjoy shamelessly plugging local stores) had this to say:
Most places have to pay premium prices for each linear foot of shelf space, especially when you get to the frozen food, beverages, cigarette companies.
Talk about company devotion. According to reports, the Pepsi guy was fired. The Coke guy is probably being bumped up to middle management. If the Mountain Dew Man was there, there would probably be a mess red and blue cans lying all over the place while MDM stood atop a pile of limbs chanting, “low sperm count, low sperm count, GO YELLOW 5!”
“If everyone in here passed the bar, why didn’t they get me anything to drink!?!”
Des Moines, Iowa - After you get married, you generally want kids. Not in the case of Marcy Grant. This 32 year old alcoholic tried to sell her four year old child to help pay for a wedding dress. Grant faces up to 10 years in the slammer but pleaded in her defense:
I’m a good mommy. I’m an alcoholic, but I’m a good mommy.
Who refers to themselves as “mommy?” That’s just strange. And I highly doubt anyone would be marrying that piece of work. So when the reports say she was trying to sell her child for a wedding dress, I’m more likely to believe wedding dress meant case of Bud Ice and a bottle of Wild Turkey, because they sound the same when slurred.
To discourage contact with children, some registered sex offenders in Maryland will be asked to post signs at their homes that say “No Candy at This Residence,” on Halloween.
For the second straight year, parole and probation agents plan to team with local police to dissuade sex offenders who are not allowed to have contact with children from participating in the holiday.
“We actually print out the signs for the offenders and hand them to them,” said Elizabeth Bartholomew, a spokeswoman for the Division of Parole and Probation. “We expect them to post the signs.”
I once went on a date to the Museum of Sex and among the many kinky phenomenons on display was the Furry display, where people dress up like stuffed animals and get their bang on. I have to believe that this preference originates, for most of these folks, from that time one Halloween when they were invited into the home of “Barney the Dinosaur” and left with sore bottoms and a tear stained Barney bag full of nightmares.
Bakersfield, California - In what may just be the biggest display of stupidity and racism, 10-15 hispanic men are wanted for breaking into a mosque, causing a boat load of trouble (including yelling racist slurs and throwing rocks). It started with a dumbass duo of hispanic men breaking into the mosque at 2am and started a ruckus. Police were quick to respond by arriving at 5am. After police left, the men returned with a small army which were slashing tires and breaking windows. Police saw men throwing rocks but weren’t able to catch anyone (donuts really do weigh you down). At a press conference, the Council on American-Islamic Relations thanked authorities for their quick response to the incident. Here is what they might have said to OverAdulthood:
Yeah fast response time my ass. If this was a christian or jewish church, the response time would be instantaneous. And they wonder who the real terrorists are? It’s the cops.
A three hour response time is bullshit. That is a longer response time than when parking cops are getting their ass kicked and the cops take a long time because they don’t respect meter maids. Good to see the law judges upon creed and occupation.
“The only time choking is good is when a naked woman is doing it with magic dust??”
Leesburg, Florida - A 12 year old boy choked himself to death in attempts to play a deadly game where you attain a state of euphoria but cutting off oxygen to the brain. David Cody Hudson was found unconscious with his karate belt wrapped around his neck. Police originally thought it was suicide but investigation revealed the child was trying to play the “choking game.” In the 70s, a lot of kids would hang themselves and jerk off because it gave them a better feeling. So on top of euphoria, they were also able to bust a nut. Kids these days have become so dumb. Here is what the 14yr old sister had to say:
We don’t really know exactly what happened.
Probably because she was giving blowjobs to guys in attempts to be cool. Okay maybe that is a little harsh, go on:
I looked at his face to see if he was smiling, but I saw his face was purple. Then I saw his karate belt around his neck. I tried to get it off, but it was way too tight.
At least they can take in solace the fact that they had taught their son well…..tying a knot.
