June 29th, 2007
“Can you spare a tv show?”
Tinsel Town - Isaiah Washington was recently fired from Grey’s Anatomy after ABC decided they didn’t want a “raging homophobe.” And when you say words like “faggot,” clearly you hate gays and everything they stand for. Get your rage on Washington:
I had a person in human resources tell me after this thing played out that ’some people’ were afraid of me around the studio. I asked her why, because I’m a 6-foot-1, black man with dark skin and who doesn’t go around saying ‘Yessah, massa sir’ and ‘No sir, massa’ to everyone? It’s nuts when your presence alone can just scare people, and that made me a prime candidate to take the heat in a dysfunctional family.
People still cross the street when they see Washington. Isaiah dropped a reality check on Hollywood with this:
My mistake was believing that I would get the support from my network and all of my cast mates across the board. My mistake was believing I could correct a wrong with honesty and sincerity. My mistake was thinking black people get second chances. I was wrong on all fronts.
Whoa whoa! Black people get second chances. Look at OJ. He got acquitted and people LOVE him.
Oh you mean that OJ?
June 29th, 2007
“I shall defend Mexico!!”
Apparently for Michael Jackson, everyday should be Halloween. Not only does he bear an uncanny resemblance to Cryptkeeper, but now he makes his children wear masks when they go out in public. Those poor children. I’m sure it’s not terrible to have Neverland as your own amusement park,(though I will feel bad when they grow up and find out that the real reason he built it is because he’s a crazy pedophile) but now, they’re forced to walk around with masks on, like it was Halloween or a bad 70’s swingers party.
Man those kids are gonna be f–ked up when they get older. Poor little Paris Jackson is going to have an identity crisis (much like her father), except instead of wanting to be white, she’ll want to be Zorro. Tip your cap Jack-O, on a parenting job well done! Not for too long though, the sun might melt off the rest of your face.
June 28th, 2007
“I’ll have the pork chops! Hold the fruit”
PETA’s annual “World’s Sexiest Vegetarian Celebrities” results were released Tuesday with Grammy Award Winning artist, Carrie Underwood, and “Tonight Show” band leader, Kevin Eubanks, topping this year’s list.
Jay Leno has been campaigning for Eubanks, even putting him on display by showing a shirtless picture of him on air to entice voters.
This year over 110,000 voters logged on to the PETA website to vote. Runners up include Joaquin Phoenix, Toby Maguire and Kristen Bell.
Why isn’t there an appeal to host the “Worlds Sexiest Meat Eating Celebrities?” Tearing the flesh off animal bones with your teeth is such a turn-on.
June 19th, 2007
“Eric doing the second thing he does best, boning ugly chicks.”
Actress Julia Roberts gave birth to a baby boy on Monday in a Los Angeles hospital. The baby boy, Henry Daniel Moder, weighed in at 8.5 pounds. The child already has a giant pair of shoes to fill. Those shoes belonging to Julia Roberts’s brother, a one Mr. Eric Roberts. In regards to Julia’s third birth, Eric Roberts might have implied this:
It doesn’t matter how many boys you have Julia, I’m still cooler than all of them combined. I’m Eric F&#**^% Roberts! King of TV bit roles and random rap videos!
Julia Roberts will be starring in Charlie Wilson’s War, scheduled for release later this year. However, you can read about the millions of television roles that Eric Roberts will be receiving this week.
Julia’s snooze: fest.
June 18th, 2007
According to an article on The Smoking Gun ,Britney Spears is set to sue Clear Channel after an affiliate did something that might be classified as “mean spirited”:
Britney Spears is threatening legal action against a Florida radio station that used a bald-headed photo of the pop star on billboards that appear to call her sanity into question… The three outdoor advertisements, which are reproduced at right, pair a paparazzi photo of a bald, snarling Spears with a picture of WFLZ morning show host Todd Schnitt (who uses the air name MJ Kelli). They are headlined, “Total Nut Jobs,” “Shock Therapy,” and “Certifiable.”
I can see Britney crying into a marshmallow pie(I imagine that’s what she eats) and whining “thayuhts jus nawwt ryyght” to her manager as they prepare the paperwork. Frankly if I were her, I’d learn to embrace this sort of thing, since “crazy” is the only kind of publicity she’ll ever get. Her entire aura of sexiness, centered around her “naughty girl next door” image has been soiled by her…soiling at the hands of Kevin “chlamydia” Federline. All that remains are two children and a vagina so floppy, dirty, and ruined that her labia majora may as well be referred to as “Sodom and Gomorrah.” The only logical next step is to dive headfirst into the depths of “crazy” and hope she survives long enough to tape what would probably be the greatest “True Hollywood Story” ever.
June 13th, 2007
It seems that even idiotic washed-up rappers have animosity towards the great President Bush. As Flavor Flav was leaving Mr. Chow restaurant last night, he was quoted by TMZ saying:
Bush wanna be fly, tell that mother f–ker to send the troops home from Iraq!
Well I have to admit, he has a point. Though just when we thought he was making sense, he had this to say about Paris Hilton:
Paris is still the mother f–kin’ bomb and she’s gonna blow up shit!
I don’t speak crazy, so I have absolutely no idea what that means. Though I will say this: the man walks around with a 2-foot clock hanging from his neck, the entire Macy’s jewelry counter in his mouth and a viking helmet on his head, and he still makes more sense than our president.
June 8th, 2007
It seems that the worst has happened: Paris has been released from the LA County jail and has been ordered to be on house arrest for the remaining days of her sentence. Though she may be hauled away again because prosecutors want her back in jail. Thank god someone does. According to the New York Post,
Hilton has the blessing of Los Angeles County Sheriff Lee Baca to serve out her 45-day jail sentence under house arrest - wearing an electronic ankle bracelet inside her gated, Spanish-style mansion in the hills above the Sunset Strip.
L.A. City attorney Rocky Delgadillo said…’We cannot tolerate a two-tiered jail system where the rich and powerful receive special treatment.’
Evidently the heirhead was on the verge of a “nervous breakdown” from being confined to a 12-by-8 cell for three days. I dont understand. Hotel rooms are not much bigger.
Continue »
June 7th, 2007
“Enough Bob… seriously.. its enough.”
Bob Barker has decided to call it quits for the game show he made famous through money grubbing housewives and unemployed job seekers. The long time hose finished taping his last show yesterday morning. He had this to say:
I’m looking forward to being bored.
To which the models that showcase the prizes on the “Price is Right” replied:
We’re looking forward to not being sexually harassed.
The only thing being spayed and neutered in the future will be Mr. Barker.
Showcase number 1: $18,032.
June 6th, 2007
“Do you guys know where you are? Probably not.”
The Rolling Stones decided to start their European tour in Belgium. In terms of where they will be, they have these countries on the tour dates:
The latest leg of their A Bigger Bang tour will also take in France, Spain, Portugal, the Netherlands, Ireland, Germany and Scandinavia. Poland, the Czech Republic and Hungary are also on the itinerary.
There was a 30 mile traffic delay due to the Stones’ concert. Many thought it was because of the concert, but it turned out the band had decided to drive themselves there.
End it up with some rock-n-: roll.
June 1st, 2007
So you all don’t want to admit it, but I’m sure you’re wondering about all these “troubled” celebrities who are going to rehab like it’s a trip to the friggin’ spa. Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan, Kate Moss, even Isaiah Washington have all checked in to “treat their problems.” The only problems they have as far as I’m concerned is a collective paycheck that’s worth more than one of Trump’s buildings. According to MSN Entertainment,
Grey’s Anatomy actor Isaiah Washington - checked in for treatment to transofrm his ‘negative actions into positive results’ after using a homophobic slur to describe a co-star.
And Michael Richards from Seinfeld, according to MSN checked in as well:
Michael Richards - treated for ‘behavioral issues’ after using racial remarks at a comedy club.
This one in my opinion, is the most genius of all:
Ashley Judd - The actress checked into rehab for treatment of ‘perfectionism.’
Try to stop laughing. Are they serious? In a way, Lindsay and Britney, I can understand. They have obviously lost it. Britney thinks she’s a stripper/mom/trashbag and Lindsay wants to be the next Marilyn Monroe or Anna Nicole. So fine, maybe they need some help. Though for once, maybe they should actually stay there for longer than a massage and a pedicure. As for the celebs like Isaiah and Ashley…where do I begin. Those people are so damn self-indulgent it makes me want to put a bunch of golf balls in a tube sock and beat them with it. But if I did do that, I’d probably have to check myself into rehab for ‘treatment of anger management and hate crimes.’
