“Professional killer, pathetic taste in clothing.”

Moscow, Russia - Most people don’t know that in Russia, there has been a serial killer on the loose terrorizing Moscow. Alexander Pichushkin, 33, was dubbed the “Chessboard Killer” as he would note the people he killed on a chessboard. It’s bad enough the country has a population decline, now they had to deal with some nut who didn’t have chess pieces. Most of the gruesome murders took place in Bittsa Park where Pichushkin would get his victims drunk and throw them into a sewage pit. After getting tired of that method, he would beat his victims to death and leave them at the scene of the crime. As he described his first kill:

It’s like first love — it’s unforgettable.

He could have just gotten some ass, that is always unforgettable too. He went on to say:

For me, a life without murder is like a life without food for you. I felt like the father of all these people, since it was I who opened the door for them to another world.

The last time I checked, a good parental figure opens the door to opportunity, not the underworld.

The police were able to break the case when his last victim said she would be going out with him. Pichushkin knew this as he was quick to take away credit from the police:

I burnt myself, so there’s no need for the cops to take credit for catching me. I’m a professional.

Well clearly not, considering he didn’t reach a full 64. This guy is right out of the show Dexter, except with a love for vodka and board games. Psychological reports show he is sane but OverAdulthood reports show he may have been kicked in the nuts as a kid. Either way, this guy is gonna get the death penalty. Of course that doesn’t mean the chair because Russia probably doesn’t have the electricity, so I’m guessing they will throw his ass in the ocean or whatever they use a for a death penalty over there.

get that: here