This just in from the Cry for Help Department: Britney Spears and Criss Angel are jumping in the sack together. Or in this case, possibly levitating into the sack. Either way, the two were seen heading into the Towers Hotel in Beverly Hills around 4 AM, and heading up to a suite on the 11th floor all the while holding hands. Ew. This can’t be a publicity stunt for Criss can it? The man lets a steam roller roll over him and he walks out without a scrape. Though maybe banging Britney Spears is more dangerous.

Criss has been spotted around with a few of Hollywood’s leading ladies recently, like Cameron Diaz and Paris Hilton. Maybe he’s auditioning them for a duet act? Yes! All the other women just weren’t crazy enough! Enter Brit-Brit. They can go on a tour together where he will make her herpes disappear, and then she will perform the act of “The Vanishing Cheetos.” Who’s excited?!