Citing the harsh, offensive nature of the word “alien” and hoping that the state’s uninvited but financially supported non-taxpaying houseguests illegally vote for her feel more at home, Florida State Senator Frederica Wilson prostituted herself introduced legislation early this week that would remove the term “illegal alien” from official state documents. Said Senator Wilson(probably):

Alien is such an ugly term. These are people, not monsters from outer space in their spaceships with saucer eyes and  long fingers and all that icky stuff. My ten cent an hour lawn mower Eduardo is just the nicest man…

Previously, Senator Wilson was known for her work on a variety of critical issues, such as state suits against Tampon companies whose use of the term “extra large” alienated women with wideset vaginas.  And in late 2001, when most state senators were debating closing flight schools to Muslim students in the wake of 9/11, Miss Wilson took the opportunity to chastise the Embry Riddle Aeronautical School for the inferior quality toilet paper and rough paper towels that discriminated against people with OCD and Crohn’s Disease.

Surprisingly, the general public has shown extreme indifference regarding this landmark legislation. Noted Miami resident Clevis Marshall:

They call ‘em Ay-lee-uhns?  Theys ain’t know ay-lee-uns.  Theys wetbacks.  Heck, I’ll call ‘em whatever they want if I can get my job back from ‘em at the spray paint factory.

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