“Look at how happy these people are with their scratchers, head in tacked and all.”

When former New Orleans cop, Lance Schilling, 30, had an itch in his mouth, no simple scratch was going to solve the problem. Instead he pulled out his gun and put a hole right through the roof of his mouth, resulting in his death. This obscure problem solving may have something to do with Schilling being charged with the beating of Robert Davis, 64, as captured by Associated Press Television News team. Franz Zibilich, Schilling’s attorney, had this to say:

The truth be known, he was looking forward to having this matter tried and heard.

Because former cops looking at jail time are as eager as pieces of meat laying in a lion’s den. The only thing that was “tried and heard” was Schilling’s mouth scratching device.

No itch: here.