“Safe to the Taint.”

Dinner Is ON! - I have recently been hired by the North American Cattle Association to write and direct a series of short films and commercials that downplay the American public’s fear of tainted beef. Some will air during the World Series while others will be projected onto big screens at chili cook-offs.

One spot deals with just how safe beef actually is when compared to other meat products, like pork. Why if you sprinkled something as innocuous as Bacon-Bits® on a picnic lunch in, say… Istanbul, you can count on being beaten to death. Bring beef, on the other hand, and you just might walk way with a new bride.

And don’t think this is a religious issue. Give your wife a bucket of chicken as an anniversary gift and see what happens. Beef is safe. Of the 9.8 million head of cattle here in the U.S., none have ever been linked to a man being skinned alive. If anything its the other way around.

Oh by the way, those little bits of bacon? Less than .05% pork. Just goes to show what a slice of swine can do to God-fearing people. Ever hear of dudes pounding on each other over beef jerky? I didn’t think so.