“Hiccup heifer was deemed politically incorrect.”

For many children that are kidnapped per year, this girl happens to be the strangest. Jennifer Mee, 15, of St. Petersburg, Florida has a chronic case of hiccups. Mee has been removed from school and has become somewhat of a celebrity. The 15 yr old freak has been booked for numerous television shows across the country. This is partly in due to the internet and their demand for Mee’s strange act. However, Mee has flown the coup. She has been reported missing. Local police suspect she isn’t endangered. Police spokesman George Kajtsa had this to say:

We are actively looking for her, like we do with every runaway child.

By looking at her and seeing her abilities, her value as a child is severely decreased. And if she is a runaway, she should come back lighter.

Cold ass punch: lines.