“Proof that Bigfoot does pee standing up.”

Manistique, Michigan - Some people have jobs and others like Matthew Moneymaker work for the Bigfoot Field Researchers Organization. This group, which consists of people who have glimpsed Bigfoot and haven’t lost their virginity to another human being, will be exploring Michigan’s Upper Peninsula. The search for Bigfoot or Sasquatch, a gigantopithecus that was believed to have existed 3 million years ago, will take place in one of the three places where the half man half beast was spotted in North America and Canada. As Moneymaker put it:

We’ll be looking for evidence supporting a presence. … We hope to meet local people who might have seen a Sasquatch or heard of someone else who had an encounter.

Or this could just be an attempt for Moneymaker to find something (possibly a girl) that might understand (or pity) him enough to let him get past second base.

They don’t know that Bigfoot shaves in the: summer.