“The Lord has Arrived!!”

Every day people go to and from work with nothing happening. Today on this holiest of Sundays, a miracle occurred. In a feat that has always mystified man, Jesus was seen walking on water. Jesus was resurrected today. When arriving to finish up some work at Home Depot, I saw Jesus first hand. I couldn’t believe my eyes. I wondered with all this rain, was there a message? And there he was… the Lord and Savior has RETURNED in the form of a shopping cart at Home Depot. I approached the Lord on my canoe and asked why has the Lord returned. At first he said:

…

I realized I haven’t been to confession so I told the Lord all my sins. From the time I used to moon people at this hotel, which I later found out was an old folks home, to the time I locked this guy on a roof only to throw rocks at him from a different roof. After my confessions, the waves grew torrential and almost tipped my canoe but the Lord spoke:

So prepare for a chance of a lifetime. Be prepared for sensational news. A shining new era, is tiptoeing nearer.

But I asked the Lord, where do we feature? And he spoke once more:

Just listen to teacher. I know it sounds sordid. But you’ll be rewarded, when at last I am given my dues, and injustice deliciously squared. Be prepared!

I wasn’t quite sure what he meant but before I could ask for more, Home Depot said they don’t appreciate me taking pictures of their property and canoeing in their flood problem. I was asked to leave. More of the Lord below:

I saw the Lord!!!