Presidential loser and charisma vacuum John Kerry and assorted other members of the Human Wasteland known as “The American Government” are lining up en masse behind a piece of legislation known as “The Fairness Doctrine.” What is the Fairness Doctrine?

The Fairness Doctrine was a regulation of the United States Federal Communications Commission (FCC) which required broadcast licensees to present controversial issues of public importance, and to present such issues in what was deemed an honest, equal and balanced manner. It has since been repealed by the FCC and aspects of it have been questioned by courts.

John Kerry has a banana in his pocket over the Fairness Doctrine.

Says Kerry:

“I think the Fairness Doctrine oughta be there…the conservatives…have been able to squeeze down and squeeze out opinion of opposing views.”

In essence, the reinstatement of such a doctrine would allow government to have final say in how people talk about their performance, their ideas, and their increasingly bizarre personal lives. Government dictating to radio companies the content of their conversation would result in bizarre scenarioes where every time Rush Limbaugh bellows bombastically, arrogantly, and awfully about how terrible the liberals are, we have to hear ten equal minutes of Rosie O’Donnell spouting about 9/11 conspiracy theories in a voice that screams “fat dyke” so loud that you can see the powdered sugar on her upper lip. Whatever they decide is a “controversial issue of public importance” is fair game. So the next time someone like Mark Foley comes around and fucks some kids, a Michael Savage rant on pedophilia will be offset by some NAMBLA rep who thinks molesting teenagers is some kind of rite of passage. Ok…MAYBE I digress just a tad. Point is, it worries me when you hear bureaucrat ass clowns like Trent Lott say things like this:

“Talk Radio is running America. We have to deal with that problem.”

Trent Lott doesn’t like talk radio because there are millions of listeners nationwide who call into shows and say things like “Trent Lott is running America, we have to deal with that problem.” Trent Lott doesn’t like talk radio because it allows the American public, including “colored people” to call in and express their opinion when Lott says something quasi racist like:

“I want to say this about my state: When Strom Thurmond ran for president, we voted for him. We’re proud of it. And if the rest of the country had followed our lead, we wouldn’t have had all these problems over all these years.”

The”problems” that Thurmond railed against at the time of his Presidential run? Those darned negroes. Thurmond filbustered the Civil Rights Act for over 24 hours. Under the Fairness Doctrine, Reverend Al Sharpton’s radio ranting would be offset by a representative of the Ku Klux Klan. Maybe former Congressman David Duke and current Senator Robert Byrd might be interested in filling that slot.

On the other end of all this is the reality that talk radio and conservative hosts are not on the radio to push an agenda, but simply put, because the agenda they push gets millions of people to tune in and listen to advertisers for however many hours they’re on. This might be news to the Ivy League “educated” bureaucrats whose summer job consisted of sitting in Uncle Chadwick’s law office and sharpening pencils for 80 grand a year. Aside from being an assault on free speech, the Fairness Doctrine amounts to the government telling radio stations nationwide that they can’t run their businesses in a manner that allows them to be profitable. This is tantamount to Hilary Clinton calling Larry Flynt and demanding that he replace one out of every two hot college age girls in his magazine with a 180 pound heifer with silver dollar nipples and a Chelsea Clinton face…in the interest of fairness.

There may be great swaths of the American public who want to shove a pen in their ear every time they hear Rush Limbaugh utter “talent on loan from God,” but in the broad scope of “thangs,” this bill gives an increasingly out of touch, unaccountable government a beachhead to move forward into other realms of media that are “running America.” So remember… when they come for radio and you raise your filthy hands in glory, you might want to start shaking in your jittery, trisexual vegan-safe boots worrying about the future of DailyKos. Pretty soon it might be illegal to point out how George W. Bush bears a striking resemblance, facially and intellectually, to Curious George, or how John Edwards is “a faggot,” or how Hilary Clinton’s shrill tone and hippo ankles may render such irreversible damage upon my psyche that I’m impotent at 25.