Los Angeles, California - Everyone was SO quick to report Britney Spears losing her kids that they forgot the real story here. Federline won himself some children! Of course both parents had to stop being petty towards each other and learn how to parent together. Well the judge said it better like this:

He also barred the exes from making “derogatory remarks about the other party and the other party’s family or significant other” during the case. And he ordered the parents to go through “joint co-parenting counseling” and barred them from using corporal punishment on the boys.

The kids will be switching from a life of privilege and parental apathy to poverty and deficient attention. While most fathers would read a classic storybook to their kids, I can imagine Kfed puffing on a newport and reading rhymes from Playing With Fire such as:

One to the two, two to three,
Fell asleep in the whip,
woke up in the squee.

Last night was crazy,
tonight is going down!
Show my lady friend all around the town.

Parked the Harley and hopped in the truck,
Smelling good, and looking like 10 million bucks.

Blue Yankee hat on,
Red monkey pants on,
Fresh to death,
’cause I keep the latest fashion.

???? Then again, I imagine it’s a little better than having Britney Spears’s method, which probably consists of her burning you with her cigarette while falling into another drug coma all while reading US weekly.

i found those kids: here