NBC is trying their God damnedest to keep Jay Leno around once he leaves the Tonight Show:

Three years ago, NBC announced with pride that Conan O’Brien would take over “The Tonight Show” in 2009. But now that the date is fast approaching, the web is beginning to panic: How do we anoint O’Brien but still keep Leno in the Peacock’s nest?Aside from turning around NBC’s primetime, the biggest challenge facing new co-chairmen Ben Silverman and Marc Graboff is how to keep Leno away from Fox or ABC.

“We want him to stay at NBC for life,” Silverman told journalists at the Television Critics Association press tour. “And Marc and I are aggressively trying to come up with ideas that would make Jay happy.

Analogy time… “NBC aggressively pursuing retaining Jay Leno is to quality programming what aggressively pursuing unprotected sex with toothless Thai hookers is to your sexual health and happiness.” If I were a network exec at NBC, I’d devise a show where Leno and Letterman talk out their differences while tied to a large chunk of plywood and drifting down the Amazon…covered in bees.

boom shaka laka