Your TV - It’s been confirmed!! Our favorite trainwreck Britney Spears is set to open the MTV Video Music Awards this Sunday, September 9th at 9 PM!!! SET YOUR ALARMS!! This is NOT to be missed! The amount of enthusiasm must be annoying to all of you, but come ON! This is BRITNEY. She is going to DANCE. And maybe SING. In COSTUME. The woman can’t walk straight, dress herself, or speak coherently and yet she’s attempting to open the most talked-about awards show in pop culture history with a performance. GENIUS! The press release from MTV states:

Las Vegas, Sept. 6th-After weeks of mind-blowing media speculation, MTV confirms today that Britney Spears will be opening the 2007 MTV Video Music Awards. Celebrating her long awaited comeback to her fans, Spears will be performing LIVE her new song “Gimme More” from her highly anticipated new album due on November 13th. The star studded awards show will air live Sunday, September 9th at 9 PM Live ET.

Her “comeback” song “Gimme More” is actually not terrible if you like that sort of breathy, horny-sounding Britney voice that made her famous. That was sexy back in the day when she was still sexy. But now if you picture Britney breathing heavily, you get an image of her chasing an ice cream truck and drooling all over herself. Not sexy. Still, I think we’re all super excited to see what she put together for her performance. At the 2001 VMA’s she performed scantily clad with live snakes while singing “I’m a Slave 4 U.” Now, she’ll probably dance around in a caftan, tube socks, and her famous towel-bib while someone feeds her fried chicken and she’ll be singing “Gimme More.” Sounds about right, doesn’t it?

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