“As in they just found a boat load of dismembered bodies! Yeah I gave away the opening!”

Moscow, Russia – Just when they thought it was safe to rebuild that 19th century Moscow house, officials found the remains of about three dozen bodies . Police officials are opening up an investigation to find the identities of the bodies. The house used to belong to a famous czarist-era family, the Sheremyetevs. On top of that, the estate was located near a former KGB headquarter. This investigation will probably be closed before I’m done writing this post on account of that old catchy saying:

What happens in czarist-era in Russia, stays in czarist-era Russia.

They also made a commercial about it. Remember? This woman asks her husband what he wants to eat for breakfast and he screams “Get in line!” in russian. Then she gives him this “oh honey” look with her hands to her side and her head tilted. Meanwhile the camera cuts to him hallucinating where he is shooting like thirty odd some people. The screen goes black and it just says “Czarist-Era Russia!” with little lights around it and the song “viva la russia” playing in the background.

flip that tinactin!