“Now we will vote on whether cats deserve the right to vote or not.”

Afghanistan - In a recent development, Taliban spokesman, Qari Yousef, agreed to trade two gravely sick female Korean Hostages in return for two women who are in jail for housing and feeding Taliban soldiers. The South Korean government isn’t buying it. According to South Korea’s foreign minister, Song Min-soon:

The health problems of two female hostages, said to be in critical condition in domestic and foreign media reports, are not serious. The hostages can’t be perfectly healthy after nearly 20 days in captivity. In that sense, they are not healthy on the whole. There has been no symptom of any of the hostages being critically ill.

That makes no sense. I understand the whole “not negotiating with terrorists” idea but at least pull a decent reason our of your ass. “No symptom of any of the hostages being critically ill,” are they expecting to find vomit on the side of the road that suggests otherwise? I wouldn’t be surprised if all of the Korean hostages were gravely ill.

Take Les Stroud from the show Survivorman for example. Look at how damn miserable he is in the desert after only seven days:

This is worse than the time my brother fed me boogers and said it was candy. I was dumb enough to fall for that but my high school days are long behind me and South Korea needs to find some better excuses.

this isn’t sweet at: all