“Why won’t Coach put me in the game?”

With a crushing defeat after crushing defeat, the Taliban promised this season is going to be its best. Senior commander and general manager Mullah Dadullah had this to say:

This year will prove to be the bloodiest for the foreign troops. It is not just a threat, we will prove it. The Taliban’s war preparations are going on in caves and in mountains. Our 6,000 fighters are ready for attacks on foreign troops after the change in weather and as it becomes warmer.

With Spring training just under way, the Taliban have hopes for a bloody good season. However, we can’t forget last year when the US lead the charge in killing the Taliban’s top militants. The Taliban had lost most of their starting line up than any other terrorist regime in the world. Senior sports analysts were quick to counter:

I don’t know how they plan on having a good season, they don’t even have a first round draft pick. They better pray to God… um Allah for a good season.

This news comes as the British prepare to let loose their bench and release a thousand more solders in the Afghanistan killing playing field. Although the Taliban do have home advantage, we can only expect another dismal performance.

Actual information from: some place in Canada