“No violence in the house of God: just like Highlander.”

The housing projects of Trenton, New Jersey have never been an idyllic
place to live. But the past give years have ushered in a serious rise in gang violence, which has proven particularly dangerous to snitches and ten year olds.

Little seven-year-old Tajanique Lee was shot in the face 15 months ago
while riding her bike in the midst of a gun battle between the Sex
Money Murder Gang and the Gangsta Killer Bloods. It is still unclear
why she decided to bike through a gun battle, but these questions are
better left to the highly competent Trenton PD.

Due to a crack down on drug trafficking, the Sex Money Murder gang at
the time of the shooting had been hard on their luck. This takes some effort as crack isn’t a hard product to sell and isn’t subject to the usual
market fluctuations.

While the Sex Money Murderers hung around waiting for the situation to
improve, the head of the Gangsta Killer Blood’s drove his (no doubt
tricked out) truck around the block throwing singles at the out of
work dealers, which they took it as a not so subtle (or tactful) call
to arms.

Tajanique was the only person shot in the hail of bullets – which
leads one to question just how good the gangsters of Trenton
are…throwing singles at each other, unable to make simple drug deals
and shooting seven year olds.

It was broad day light and at least twenty people were within the
vicinity of the shooting. However, no one saw nothing.

Well, local rap legend The Big Ooh apparently saw something. But, he
isn’t talking. That is how he got his name, in a hail of bullets and
dead children all that comes out of his mouth is “Ooh.”

In a rare moment of verbosity, The Big Ooh, “People don’t want talk
because they don’t want to take a bullet.”

The community’s silence came, for some reason, as a surprise to the
(not quite as sophisticated as the Sex Money Murder gang) Trenton Police
Department who have no good answer to the gang assertion “if you talk
to the police, we will buck shots.”

Well, upon further consideration, the police admitted they had no
trouble finding a witness but they did have some trouble finding
someone who would be willing to talk in court and give his/her real name.

When they finally found someone to admit to seeing the shooting, it
turned out he not only wasn’t actually there but he gave the police a
fake name. With street names like “Hamburger,” “Messiah” and “The Big
Ooh” going around, who can resist the temptation?

Feeling the pressure of the bad publicity, The Sex Money Murder gang
decided to take some proactive steps to clearing their good name.

The New York Times reported, “Earlie Harrell, a high-ranking member of
Sex Money Murder who goes by the street name Messiah, helped broker
the truce after Tajahnique’s shooting, worked with local ministers and
business owners to create Buy a Brother a Suit.”

Unfortunately, the Buy a Brother a Suit program seemed immediately
doomed as one local bought his tailored suit in Blood red…a not so
thinly veiled sign of gang affiliation.