“But doctor, you can’t eat your lunch in here!”
“Damnit nurse, pass me the fava beans.”

As surgical tools progress, so do the methods in which surgery is done. Recently, doctors have started completing surgeries through the natural openings of the body. One boy recently had a tumor removed through the nose. Two women had gall bladders removed through their vaginas. Three men had bottles removed through their rectums. It’s getting popular, you get the idea. As a way to prevent extreme scarring and longer recovery time, surgery is becoming like a wrecking crew for destroying ships in a bottle. Instead of just cracking open the glass, they are removing piece by piece by your little hole. One doctor spoke about the benefits, reflecting on a bowel surgery that used to require going through the stomach but is now completed through the rectum. Dr. David Rattner of Massachusetts General Hospital had this to say:

They really can go back to work the next day.

If an operation is going through someone’s ass and the problem is their internal poo bag, employers shouldn’t mind if an employee took a day or two off, just in case. Rattner went onto say:

It’s not going to replace laparoscopic surgery, but it’s going to have a niche somewhere. We’re trying to figure out where that niche is going to be.

It already looks like it has a niche, just bend over. Bam! Niche made!

Cut through my stomach, I like my ass in one: piece.