“I have a gun, stop making fun of my beard. I said stop!”

Kabul, Afghanistan - The Taliban extended its deadline for the 22 remaining South Korean hostages. The terms call for South Korea withdrawing its troops out of Afghanistan by 4pm today. This has been the eighth deadline the Taliban has set for South Korea. Taliban spokesman, Yousuf Ahmadi, had this to say:

At the request of Afghan and South Koran authorities, we have extended the deadline once again. We will decide what to do after that.

Their threats are about as lousy as my mother’s threats. But if South Korea keeps on delaying, this might end poorly for the hostages. Once, during my youth, I was pissing my mom off to no end throwing away things that were functional only because I was bored with them. When she found an electric sharpener in the garbage, she plugged it in to see it was still working. When she inquired as to why I would dispose of a functional sharpener, I responded with, “well you wanted me to clean up.” She promptly unplugged the sharpener and threw it at me from 20 feet away. I dodged her poor attempt at speed and said, “Well it’s broken now.” The point of this story is that South Korea should make moves before the Taliban decides to throw functional sharpeners at them.

Sharpenings were: Everywhere!