“Bastard child or fan?”

Clay Moore is probably the worst person to kidnap. Bound to a tree in the middle of the woods and left by his captor, Moore escaped by using a safety pin, his teeth, and hands. After escaping, he found a local hick farmer and called his mother. The suspected kidnapper, Vicente Ignacio Beltran Moreno, has a warrant out for his arrest on kidnapping and bad knot tying skills. Clay Moore was kidnapped last Friday and after escaping, finding the ransom note, and the suspected truck witnesses reported, sleuth County Sheriff Charlie Wells had this to say:

This was an absolute kidnapping for ransom. The person wanted money in exchange for Clay Moore.

Looks like someone has a future in private investigation.

Actual info from: this place