“Does this make them even more desperate?”

The fall television season is upon us and so are the MILFs of Wisteria Lane. Lock up your gardeners and teen age boys this, is The WTF Files!

iReporters – WTF?!?
CNN is cheapening the profession of journalism with its iReport initiative, which turns ‘one’ this week. And like most one year-olds their iReporters do nothing more babble, slobber and annoy the hell out of the older reporters, and I can’t even say they’re all that cute.

If a 24/7 news format is too much for CNN to handle they should create additional Wolf Blitzer clones. Otherwise, hire more professional reporters because the last thing I want to see on AC 360 is my grandmother covering the next California wildfire… she carries around an oxygen tank to breath.

Birth Order – WTF?!?
According to a Norwegian study the order in which you were born says a lot about who you are, much like how the being the eldest usually says you’re a dick. We’re playing with fire when we start playing favorites and that’s just what this study does.

The study states that being the eldest means being a natural leader and a problem solver, that you have a great hair and you get all the chicks. No where do they make mention of being a good at making apologies. So if you’re the eldest now might be the time to pick up the phone and tell your little brother you’re sorry for teaching him how to smoke. He believed you when you said it was cool.

Jimmy Justice – WTF?!?
There comes a time when enough is enough. Some are perfectly happy having eight as enough, but to a New York City man with a video camera enough is 3,600 because that’s approximate the number of sworn NYPD Traffic Enforcement Agts from whom he seeks justice.

Jimmy Justice is his name and he’s a danger because uploading clips of Enforcement Agents breaking traffic laws to You Tube is his game. Listen up Jimmy Gutless; New York’s Finest doesn’t need you distracting them from double-parking their city vehicles in bike lanes to run personal errands. That’s the job of the New York City bicyclist plowing into their illegally parked vehicles.

Life Coaches – WTF?!?
According to a story that ran on USAToday.com, “personal growth is hot and diagnosis is not.” Upon first glance one might think they’re referring to how fashionable it’s become to allow an undetected tumor to fester, but no.

No… what USA Today claims to be sweeping the nation like a post-modern Adkins diet are life coaches; hucksters and out-of-work real estate agents you pay to tell you what you want to hear. Coaches like this are bad news because it puts therapists and drug companies out of business. Hour-long sessions and prescriptions for Prozac are what drives our economy, as opposed to the Econoline van - a life coach works out of… that is if they don’t get it repossessed.