Foxy Brown - Gets a Beat Down!

“Foxy Brown - now weave free!”

At the the corner of Crescent and Stanley Avenue is where rapper Foxy Brown broke up with former boyfriend Timothy Collier after he confessed to her that he is a pimp of “just a few prostitutes” in all five boroughs. Collier was furious with the performer’s reaction claiming that she was next to be his number one ho. He had already pre-planned “dating” sessions for her in Jersey City. The couple sat in Collier’s grafitti painted volkswagon van until Collier stormed out saying that had to go get some money from a friend. He told Brown to wait for him until he returned. Unbeknowest to Brown moments later, three prositiutes wearing leather bikinis came bursting out of a nearby apartment. The women yanked Brown out of the vehicle beating her up and robbing her of $500.00 in cash. The hookers ripped out the rapper’s hair extensions out and placed them in their own hair. Prosecutors are saying that Brown has approximately six months to press charges.

Lindsay Lohan - Ski Bunny Crashes!

“Cocaine wishes and vodka red bull dreams.”

America’s Sweetheart Lindsay Lohan was drunk as a skank when she crashed her Mercedes convertible in May of 2007. The twenty-year old exibitionist had over the legal amount of alcohol in her blood. Toxicolgy test have now revealed cocaine usage was also found in her system. Lohan was arrested when police found a cocaine like substance in the car. Lohan’s toxiclogy results somehow got mysteriously posted on a website known as tmz.com. Upon the youngsters arrest, she reportedly screamed at officers about trying to fulfill her dreams of destroying her life, body, and career like most former child stars. She reluctantly checked into another 48,000 an month rehabilitation center. Lohan is to turn twenty-one on July 2nd. During one of Lohan’s rehab meetings she made a quip about finally being able to to drink legally without the hassles of having to moon bar keeps just for a single brandy alexander. Lohan’s lawyer, Blair Berk, was infuriated by the whole matter. “This investigation is ongoing!” She said. “The story is absolute nonsense! Everyone knows Lindsay is completely innocent!